I’m Not a Speaker

Crystal Bowman

When I became a published author in my early 40s, I was thrilled. Seeing a book with my name on the cover was a dream come true. Writing is something that has always been a part of me. It’s in my DNA. My 4^th grade teacher predicted I would be an author and her words planted a seed that blossomed decades later. But when I was asked to speak at a Mother-Daughter banquet, my heart skipped a beat. “Um, no. I’m not a speaker.”  

They asked me again. “Just share your sweet poems and tell us how God opened the door for you to become an author. The little girls will love you.” Since I am a people pleaser, I finally said yes. Weeks later as I sat on a church pew and read my name in the bulletin, my anxiety hit an all-time high. “I’m  not a speaker,” I mumbled to myself.  

I needed divine intervention to conquer my stage fright, so I prayed and read the Bible. I stumbled upon a passage in Exodus 3 where God speaks to Moses at the burning bush and tells him to deliver the Israelites from the abusive hand of Pharaoh. Moses replied, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”  God assured him that he would be with him, but Moses was not in favor of this assignment. For several more verses and into chapter 4, Moses keeps voicing his concerns and says, “I am slow of speech and tongue” (i.e. I am not a speaker).

Then the  Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say”  (Exodus 4:11-12). You would think that would be the end of the conversation, but no. Moses finally says, “Send someone else.”

Have you ever felt that way? Like you are not qualified for an assignment that seems far too big for you? Do you think Esther felt that way? What about Mary when the angel told her she would be the mother of the Messiah?

Here’s the thing. God doesn’t need our abilities. He needs our obedience. And He will equip us for the assignment He gives us. God can and will do big things in our lives not because of who we are, but because of who He is. And when that happens, God is the one who gets the glory because it’s not about us.

Moses became one of the greatest biblical figures of all time. God used him to deliver His people from their lives of slavery in Egypt. Moses led the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years and continually spoke with God on behalf of the people. God chose this man who was slow of speech and tongue and equipped him for his divine assignment.  

When we obey God’s call and depend on Him to equip us, exciting things take place. I eventually got used to speaking and started to enjoy it. Through the years, I have spoken in churches, classrooms, and large auditoriums. I teach at writers’ conferences, moms groups, and have led Bible study programs.

You were created for a purpose, and God wants to use you. Not qualified? No worries! God will equip you with every good thing for doing His will (Hebrews 13:21). Is God calling you to minister to dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of women? Listen to His voice and obey His call, even if you’re not a speaker.